I’ll be brutally honest. I have been really struggling with my parenting lately. Gah! All the fighting, the whining, the unkind words being thrown around has broken me down.
Last week my husband was away, and it felt like the longest week ever. I felt like my boys were trying to see if they could collectively send their mother to the looney bin. Their sassiness, fighting, raging hormones... I was at my breaking point.
On a few different occasions I would find myself looking for places to hide, just to have a few minutes of peace. I found a spot in the basement they never would think to look ;) My dear friend reminded me that a full moon was coming (she's my own, adorable, Mrs. Brightside), but I have to think there was a little more to it.
We all live crazy lives right now, with so many directions we are running in, responsibilities, activities, expectations. The "frazzled" state has become the norm for me. But why is everything feeling SO out of control lately? Mercury isn't in retrograde yet, I even checked with Alexa.
The flood of self doubt started to storm in. Is it just MY kids? Just OUR home? What am I doing wrong in parenting? Why are my kids a-holes sometimes?
So, I had to stop and really think about this. Then look in the mirror. What I am modeling for them lately?
I like to consider myself a kind, patient and loving person, who tries to do the right thing, and knows what that is. BUT I am also human. I don't always stay calm, or say the right thing. I talk with sarcasm often and catch myself being judgy about some things. I am over scheduled and always running late. Oh, I can be super irritable and impatient too. All these icky things I try and teach my kids NOT to do!
Last weekend I stopped over at mom and dads house, and sat down to chat and visit for a while– rather than a quick pass through on our way to some commitment. It was just what I needed. A loving and empathetic point of view.
No one wants to admit their mom is right, even as a 42 year old woman. But my moms words stuck with me. “You need to slow down.”, “You take on too much.” I know she’s right. I’m exhausted, my body is angry and shouting at me to slow it down.
So, I’m am proclaiming here on my blog, (for anyone who actually reads it), that I’m taking the rest of 2019 to slow it down. I want to reorder my priorities, enjoy my family, heal my body, and have a plan that allows my life and business to keep progressing and thriving (and gives me a little break too.)
You guys can be my accountability buddies. Just don’t say i told you so 😅
Love & Empathy everyday! It starts from within.