Ode to a hamster

Sully and his Hammy, summer of 2020.

To truly know me is to understand just how much I adore animals—and it seems I've passed that love on to my sons, especially my youngest, Sully. Nothing brings Sully more joy than spending time with his pets, watching animal videos from The Dodo, feeding the squirrels and birds in our backyard—anything animal-related. He has such a tender heart and a gentle, kind soul.

So, it breaks my heart to share that last week, Sully went up to his bedroom to check on and feed his beloved hamster, Hammy, only to find him lifeless in his cage—the very same Cadillac of cages Sully had asked for as a Christmas gift. His devastated screams echoed through the hallway, and I immediately knew what had happened, a sinking feeling taking over me.

Smooch.

Hamsters, as we know, have short lifespans of about 1-3 years, but we never thought we were nearing the end with Hammy. He was such a gentle, happy, and lively little guy who genuinely enjoyed being held and would squeak with delight. Whenever Sully opened the cage, Hammy would rush over and crawl right into his hand, eager for some snuggle time. Sully absolutely adored him, and Hammy was so treasured in our family that he became the subject of Sully's 2nd-grade Valentine’s project, inspired one of my notepads ("The Pet Sitter"), and even earned a felt Christmas ornament on our tree.

Four years ago, we lost our dog, Satchel. It was the hardest pet loss I had ever experienced. Sully was only four at the time and has some memories of it, but not many. Losing Hammy, however, is Sully's first true experience with grief, and it’s incredibly difficult to watch him go through it. As a parent, you just want to take the pain away and do anything to make him feel better.

Through my own experiences with grief, I've learned that you have to go through it—there's no way around it—and only time can truly help heal those wounds. We're just a few days past Hammy’s passing now, and although it’s still very hard for Sully, each day gets a little easier. His brothers have been temporarily kinder to him, and I even caught Nolan resting his head on Sully's while they watched TV together the other day. Normally, they get upset if one toe dares touch the other’s claimed cushion on the couch.

In the spring, we're hoping to visit a farm sanctuary (once COVID is behind us). Sully is obsessed with pigs and can’t wait to see some in person. 🐖💕 And we also can’t wait to return to our local zoo!

If you have any special advice or tips on helping kids cope with the loss of a beloved pet, I’d love to hear from you. We’re fortunate to have some beautiful keepsakes from two incredibly talented people—my sister Eliza and my friend Carolyn at Noble Friends.

Thanks for reading, friends. Wishing you a good week and sending warm thoughts your way.

Annie xo